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Released from inpatient psychiatric care at the Hines VA for PTSD suicidal ideation.

I was recently released from an extended mental hospital stay. Overall positive things occurred while I was an inpatient at the Hines VA facility but the experience was uncomfortable overall. Towards the end of the stay I did summarize with the outlook that they quite simply treated me like a mental health patient because I quite frankly was one. Reasons for psychiatric inpatient care at the veterans hospital I had severe depression along with PTSD that was leading to allot of suicidal thinking. I shared all of this with my psychiatrist and did sign myself in willingly. I wanted to feel safe and to have my medicine adjusted. I was directly admitted by my psychiatrist, bypassing the whole waiting process. This got me right into the emergency room where my vitals were monitored along with an EKG that was administered. I was given Ativan and a turkey sandwich. I was told it would be about an hour. My belongings were very carefully inventoried. Blood was drawn and a urine sample was given. I calmly waited to be admitted.

This was not my first time at the show so I wasn't too nervous.

I walked through the double locked and double door entry hall way and was greated by an unfriendly black man who took my vitals. I was given a room and some basic essentials as my things were locked up in a storage area for patient belongings. I was a little worried about my phone, tablet, wallet or cash being stolen by fortunately this did not happen to me. I sat in my room with another veteran who shared the small drab dorm like room. This guy had been in for just a few days and proudly proclaimed that he was getting the fuck out of there quick and never coming back to the Veterans Affairs for healthcare again. I took this with a grain of salt. I didn't want to get too worked up about what might or might not happen while I was in the VA for psychiatric reasons. My treatment goals were to change medications, specifically my anti depressant medication. I had been taking lexapro daily for one year and the medication kind of pooped out on me despite efforts to max out the dosage. I had to tackle the suicidal ideation and I wanted to inquire about using a service dog for my condition, PTSD. Visit my service dog website at: Please Visit Military PTSD Service Dog Website Here More coming soon!

Afghanistan war veteran talks about #ptsd

Drone Conspiracy - An Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) -wikileak- spies on ...

syma x8c quadcopter drone flying at sunrise

Syma X8c drone quadcopter with stock standard definition camera - sunset :(

What does it feel like to have PTSD? Describe what PTSD feels like to you.

Today I would like to write about PTSD and how it effects me in my daily life. I write this post in the hope that others with PTSD will recognize similar things going on in their lives. If you feel like you could have PTSD, I encourage you to try and get help. I am not cured, in some ways I am worse but the medicine helps and talking to other veterans really helps. What makes PTSD so difficult to treat is the avoidant and isolationist activity. When we shelter ourselves from the disorder and the world, we lose our connection to those that can help us. Our family, our friends, our clinicians all get cut off from the chance to help us. If you are a veteran, know that you are not alone, even though it feels like you are.

If you need to talk to someone, I encourage you to reach out to the Veterans crisis line. Their number is: 1-800-273-8255

They are also available by chat, which I prefer.

I was part of the very first combat deployment to Afghanistan and got to participate in various covert and overt combat activity. I was injured and evacuated from Stan during the fall of Khandahar. Before deployment I suffered a mild TBI that caused me to lose conciousness after my rocket launcher misfired and fragmented on my shoulder. I was an assaultman, a counter-terrorist. My specialty was rockets and demolition. I received conventional warfare training as well as special operations training.

So that is cool part of my story. Being a Marine was badass and I loved kicking ass.

The sad part of the story begins here. Being a veteran with PTSD is awful. My life feels meaningless now. I have no job and suffer from flashbacks, agitation, arousal, anxiety and depression. I have been out since 2002. My life has been chaotic in varying degrees. I have complex PTSD, TBI comorbid with depression and panic disorder. I have been hospitalized numerous times for suicidal ideation, weird seizure like episodes, and hostility. I have been unable to hold a job or finish college. My relationships always end dramatically. I avoid everyone that knows me and I lash out at those that "threaten me." (The threat is misperceived)

All I want to do is smoke weed, hide from the world, listen to Metallica in the dark and obsess about war, violence and feeling pumped. I love the fucking adrenaline. I get so keyed up from PTSD that thirteen years after honorabe discharge, that I feel like I am at war. I feel like I am still on LP/OP missions. It is not a delusion, it is very physical. PTSD effects the release of adrenaline like compounds that make you feel jacked up. Feeling the pump makes me feel strong and capable which is the inverse to the way I typically feel; sad, broken and worthless. I deal with suicidal thinking near daily. I have been hospitalized four times!

I have been in treatment for over a decade. Sometimes I do a little better with life, sometimes not so much. My life is pretty much out of control. I have to depend on others and that hurts my self esteem. I have no idea where my life is heading because I don't know if I can keep myself alive.

Medical Marijuana for PTSD bill fails in Illinois

Sadly, the initiative to add PTSD to a list of qualifying ailments in the state of Illinois has failed. Efforts were made to add the diagnosis and the push gained momentum through the Illinois House and Senate. When the bill landed on the governor's desk he failed to sign it into law citing a lack of research that medical marijuana helps those with post traumatic stress disorder. Hopefully, there will be some sort of reorginatization and appeal effort by the activists pushing for PTSD patients.

I am a patient with PTSD. I have been hospitalized four times as an inpatient for my condition. I have found that medical marijuana helps me cope with my condition and its effects upon my life. I feel the prime benefits of medical marijuana for post traumatic stress disorder are:

• Lifting of depression
• enchanced sleep
• increased appetite 
• lower anxiety 
• greater sense of well being

My condition consists of insomnia, hypervigellance, depression and panic attacks. I experience flashbacks often. Sometimes I just get zoned into to the military past. Cannabis helps me detach from that. While I am disappointed that the medical marijuana initiative failed, I think in the near future it will be of little consequence as our nation slowly moves towards legalization. With legalization, more research will come to see of what benefit medical marijuana has on PTSD.Different strains of cannabis can provide different therapeutic effects for patients. Some strains are depression lifting, while others can be anxiety reducing. Some strains will put you to sleep gently. The effects that cannabis has on cancer cannot be understated. It seems as if CBDs and THC help kill cancer cells.

Do any of you use cannabis for PTSD?

I have PTSD and I have been hospitalized four times.

Post traumatic stress disorder has destroyed my life. I have been suffering from the diagnosis since getting out of the Marine Corps in 2002. I had to see a therapist shortly after my discharge from the Marines because I began experiencing depression. I can best describe how I felt upon discharge as disconnected from the world and numb. I remember returning from my deployment in Afghanistan back in March of 2002. When I arrived home I felt like I was walking in a dream. I felt like my mind had a little fog to it. My sleep wasn't good and I began to experience sadness connected to my military service. My military career was cut short by injury and I received a whopping two hundred dollars a month for my injury. It upset me that I was now what is considered as a "broken marine." I couldn't deploy, I was getting depressed and it was time to get my head checked out by the VA. In short time I was put on antidepressants and eventually hospitalized after having a bad reaction to the meds. During my hopsitalization intake, I was drugged with benzo type medicine to calm my nerves. I then proceeded to tell the VA psychologist everything that happened to my in the Marines. Before long I received a diagnosis of PTSD with general anxiety disorder and depression. I keep having these moments where I get spooked and just want to run. Sometimes I do. Just last month I was on a two month disappearing act in another state. It is difficult for me to keep my cool and I am constantly under pressure. I experience stress differently than the normal person would. For me any level of stress can feel like life or death type of situational stress. As a result I find it very difficult to let my guard down and I trust nobody. I am slightly paranoid, I would say. I am always watching my back. This sort of thinking comes from having to survive multiple life or death situations in the Marines. If you experience any of these things that I am talking about then please comment on this post but get help first. There is help out there if you ask for it. Build the strength inside you to ask for help when you need it.

My experience with Traumatic Brain Injury - Personal Account

It has been quite a month. I have been in contact with some of my Marines and learned of deaths within the platoon that i had not known about. I have also completed nearly one year of emdr therapy. This type of therapy can be highly effective for veterans with PTSD. I plan to write about my experiences with EMDR in the future. What I want to focus on specificially though, is the occurance of TBI with the veteran population.

I have had a few injuries during my service as an active duty infantry Marine. My MOS in the Marine Corps was 0351. The number 0351 represents the title "Assaultman." Assaultmen have a primary weapons mastery of the MK153 assault rocket launcher. This weapon system is shoulder launched, has mutiple target applications such as armored vechicles, main battle tanks, machine gun bunkers and can even destroy an entire building. There are various munitions for this rocket launcher that are best suited for the type of target to be eliminated. In my course of service, I have fired hundreds of these ballastic rockets.

I operated the MK-153 83mm SMAW rocket launcher system

It is important to note the dangers of launching rockets from one's shoulder. The primary danger involves a backblast area of 90 meters that extends in a 90 degree angle from the back of the weapon system. If friendlies are within 50 meters of that danger zone, they could be vaporized into pink mist. The blast kicks up sand and gravel that likey flies right into the gunner's face. More so, is the sound and explosive pressure that this rocket launcher creates. The MK153 SMAW rocket launcher is the loudest organic weapon on the battlefield. Organic means that it can be carried and deployed by one Marine. The meaured sound level is approximately 100 decibles, Loud enough to blow the ear drum out of an ear canal.

I received a what is called a moderate TBI or traumatic brain injury while firing this rocket system in 1999. During launch the weapon malfunctioned due to overpressure within the breach of the launch tube. The weapon fragmented on my shoulder while my eye was still pressed firmly into the scope. My eye was barely saved by way of its position but my right eye suffered from concussion blast eye fractures. I lost conciousness and woke up with burnin hot shrapnel in my face and the back of my head. I had a large bump on the back off my head that had superficial gas burns and more slivers of metal and fiberglass in it.

Some of the symptoms I have been dealing with over the past 20 years are:

• Unequal pupil size dilation (though not constant) Blurred vision, spots of color, floaters, dark spots.
• Disorientation: Where am I, how did i get there.
• Seizures: I see spots of light during times of stress, lose control of my right arm, numbness..tingling on the the right side of my body. Fits and twitches.
• Nasuea and difficulty with motor coordination
• Speech problems, which have been address by a speech therapy program.
• Cognitive difficulty; I have moderate difficulty with memory, attention and just basic thinking. Reading comprehension has been difficult because I can't focus and retain knowledge like I used to. I also have difficulty finding the appropriate to say in conversation which makes thinking on the fly difficult. My speech is often slurred, or not understandable. I have to repeat things two to three times quite often.

I am also being treated for PTSD related to this and other life threatning events such as a helicopter crash, war, and participating in special operations missions before the start of Operation Enduring Freedom. Having a duel diagnosis of PTSD/TBI is frustrating. I take Lexapro and Klonopin as a medical treatment. For the most part the medication and EMDR therapy helps. 

I would strongly encourage any veteran experiencing these things to get checked out by a doctor. I have been living in a nightmare for 15 years. You don't have to. Medicine and a good therapist make all the difference. It is important for us all to live comfortable lives after sacrificing all that we could.

Veteran suicide rate reaches epidemic status

he biggest threat both on and off the battlefield is suicide, not enemy bullets or bombs. A recent study has determined that more military personal space die of suicide than as a result of enemy action. Veterans and military service members have always had a higher rate of suicide compared to the civilian population but it has increased. This increase in veteran and military suicide is in doubt related to the ongoing war in Afghanistan and the ongoing operations in Iraq. We have been at war for over a decade now and repeated deployments to these war torn regions is injuring the souls and minds of our fighting men and women.

Mental health issues appear to be the cause of this increased rate of suicide for veterans. Many veterans return home with depression, PTSD and or substance abuse problems. I know these problems well because they are my problems too. I have even grappled with suicidal thinking and resulting hospitalizations. There were times that my military related PTSD and depression almost got the best of me.

So what saved my life from becoming another statistic in the veteran's suicide rate? What saved my life was reaching out for help when i needed it. When i felt hopeless and thought that i couldn't march on as a young disabled veteran, i luckily, called my therapist almost every time. The result was sometimes short term hospitalization but it saved my life.

What veterans at risk for suicide need to realize is that asking for help when depressed or suicidal is not a weakness and they will not be judged by doing so. There should be no second thinking a call for help but i can picture people being hesitant to do so. It is because we ask ourselves "what will they think?" Nobody wants to be thought of as a crazy or unstable person. Yet when we do decide to reveal that we have very personal or emotional problems, we feel vulnerable in doing so because we do not want to be thought of any differently.

However, veterans should know that if they are hospitalized for suicidal behavior then there may be civil consequences to face after the hospitalization. For example, i was hospitalized for suicidal behavior at a veterans hospital. Within a year after the hospitalization i received notice from the state of Illinois that said i was no longer allowed to get a firearms owner card. The notice went on to say that i basically can't own guns anymore. This restriction didn't upset me too much because I don't own firearms but it does hurt to have my rights limited.

What are veteran's hospitals like? A description of VA healthcare.

Veterans need to connect with the appropriate care for their service connected and general healthcare needs. Hopefully most transitioning military veterans are briefed on healthcare and linking up with veteran hospitals. Sadly,many veterans fall through the cracks or have difficulty navigating the VA hospital system. It is of crucial importance that a veteran gets certified for healthcare by the VA as soon as possible. This will help in the continuation of care for current injuries and insure that the veteran is covered for any maladies that may arise in the future.

But what is it like to be treated at a VA hospital? This question lingers in the heads of the veterans that are hesitant to visit the VA. Will they receive the appropriate healthcare and be treated with dignity during appointments or hospital stays? Is the care below that which an insured patient would receive at a normal civilian hospital? The answer it would seem would vary from hospital or region. I have been treated in Los Angeles,Chicago and Florida. I have experienced good care and bad care in different situations.

Some of the best healthcare that i received as a veteran going through PTSD was given at the West Los Angeles VA hospital. There was a dedicated building and clinic there that focused on treating post traumatic stress disorder. I was a part of a program there that used a combination of group therapy,psychotherapy and medication to treat veterans coming back with PTSD. The clinic was led by a social worker named Leslie Martin. She was warm and easy to talk to and often brought her dog to group therapy. (The dog was an actual certified therapy dog and even sported a VA identification badge on his collar.)

What made the West LA VA hospital the best was its people for the most part and by that i mean both the staff and the patients. Perhaps Californian people are just cool like that but i do think the VA hospital there was better than other places. I do have to admit a fondness for California and that might bias my preferences.

One complaint common to most VA hospital experiences is long wait times. I have experienced lengthy waits on prescriptions,emergency room visits,and any other additional testing that a doctor requires at an appointment. I have also had to wait several weeks to a month or more for initial appointments or other things. I have learned that the VA is allot like the military in that you must "hurry up and wait" to get anything done.

I would have to say that the atmosphere and cleanliness of VA hospitals should be improved. I am sure for the most part that the veterans hospital is a clean, sterile environment but i have seen things that make me scratch my head and wonder. Every time that i have used the bathroom at the Hines VA in Chicago, there has been feces in the floor and or walls of the bathroom stall. Apparently, an upset or troubled patient threw poop all over the place. It got to a point where i fear using the bathroom at the Hines VA hospital.

Which brings me to comment on the overall atmosphere of veteran hospitals. For the most part,a visit to the veteran hospital is going to depress you a little. The interior facilities are usually dated,drab and sometimes downright dungeon like. Hines VA hospital in Chicago fits this point well. I will take photos next time. A visit to the VA overall seems to depress and fatigue me which has led me time and time again to skip appointments or not even request them.

However,it is with sincere and absolute gratitude in my heart that i accept this healthcare. I feel any other government could have turned its back on their veterans. We as a group are fortunate in my eyes because we are compensated for our suffering and given healthcare at no cost to us. Yet as a group we tend to come off as unappreciative of what has been given to us. I,for one,am grateful for the medical care that i have received this past decade. I did also have the pleasure of seeing private doctors during the past ten years. Let me say that the care i received at private hospitals outdid and was much more effective than the care i received at the veterans hospitals. Why did i make that statement about the VA versus the private healthcare system. Well,i have experienced excellent care for inpatient and outpatient psychiatric care at a private hospital. The experience there was pivotal to me making progress with my PTSD. I received types of therapy that i haven't even heard of in the years of previous treatment through veteran hospital care. These new and different therapies included EMDR and psychosocial drama therapy or at least i think that is what it was called. These therapies helped me greatly and i would not have received them at the VA. Yet i do credit both hospital systems for my personal level of recovery.

PTSD or Post traumatic stress disorder in veterans

PTSD Or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder In Veterans It’s not uncommon for veterans to suffer from PTSD, otherwise referred to as post-traumatic stress disorder because of what they have had to go through in the military with wars, operations and even the yelling of drill sergeants. The symptoms can be treated in a number of ways, too, to help provide some relief for veterans around the country. Over the years, PTSD has come to be a very important mental health condition to have treated. When it was first seen, many in the medical community disregarded it, however when more and more veterans were experiencing it, as well as those who were witness to a crime or a terrifying event, there was no denying that it was a very real condition. In many cases PTSD can include nightmares, flashbacks and a significant amount of anxiety. Those who were in the military have often been witness to events that they would much rather forget. However, they are reliving it over and over again in their mind. This can lead to hopelessness about the future, trouble concentrating, feels of irritability and anger and even trouble sleeping. PTSD veterans can get the help they need through therapy and medication. Often it is best for those suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder to get the help they need from other veterans who have been through the same thing and are now dealing with the effects of the condition, too. This camaraderie can be the most important way to deal with the previous experiences. Throughout the different forms of treatment, representatives in Vermont are now looking at adding post-traumatic stress disorder to the list of disorders and conditions that will allow a person to get medicinal marijuana. The marijuana, when used with PTSD veterans can be the best way for a person to get over some of their concentration issues as well as to prevent a self-destructive behavior. Many veterans who are dealing with PTSD go through symptoms in one (or all) of three categories: Intrusive memories, avoidance and increased anxiety. Depending upon what a person is dealing with, the treatment will be different. A person may even go through all of the categories throughout time as the memories and nightmares occur at different times. War and the military are different than witnessing a crime. Veterans lived through it on a regular basis so it wasn’t just a single occurrence. As a result, it is harder for veterans to just turn off their memories and forget what happened, whether it was locally or on foreign soil. PTSD veterans need to get the support that they need through therapy, support groups and medication so that they can function properly with their loved ones and throughout society

Veteran with PTSD and Depression. A Treatment Diary.

So today has been a big day for me. I finally decided to act upon getting medical treatment for my PTSD, panic and depression. This is not to say that I have not been in treatment during the past. I have actually tried many different therapies and medications in an attempt to combat my problems. My problem has been sticking with medicine and therapy over the past several years. When I start to feel better, sometimes I will discontinue medication and therapy all together. I do realize the problem in this. The problem is the symptoms usually come back or are triggered by an event or difficulty.


I called my mother last week. Well not exactly called because we just facebook each other nowadays. I told her that I think I have hit rock bottom. I said something to her that I have had to say to my loved ones in the past. I said "Mom, I think I need to check in to the hospital." I have reached that very moment about 6 times since being discharged from the military. That's right. If I remember correctly, I have been hospitalized for PTSD, depression or panic six times in maybe eight years. This makes me a veteran in more ways than one.

For me reaching that point where it feels all hope is lost is a very scary ordeal. I fear the hospital. I fear being confined to a room or building for an undetermined amount of time. The fear usually comes from the other patients, some of which might be more disturbed than me. I can trace the origin of this fear to my first hospitalization for PTSD. On my first night in the veteran's hospital in los angeles, I was attacked in the middle of the night by another patient. I made quick work of him using my Marine Corps Martial Arts. Yet the situation, really troubled me. It was my first night there and my nerves were rather raw to begin with. The attacker was a vietnam era veteran who was suffering from psychosis. He lunged at me while i was laying in my bed as if to attack me. I was able to redirect his flight path using my foot and arms....and I swung him onto the floor and promptly put him in a head lock. Since that night I have been very weary of hospitals.

So last Monday, I took a big step and followed through with a social worker that has been trying to get me to come back to the VA. He and I talked for a bit and agreed that I was kind of on an upswing in regards to my symptoms. Meaning, my situation was starting to improve that week and I did start to feel better. A psychiatrist prescribed Zoloft, 25mg to start my medical therapy. We will gradually increase the dosage. I have a therapist appointment and another psych appointment within the next few weeks. I am motivated to change myself and my mind but I was fearful of starting medication again after struggling so long without it.


I fear the side effects of the SSRI medicine. I'm worried about the effect on libido and a number of things. So it actually took me a few days to take the meds that were prescribed. In fact, it's only been an hour. I thought I would take a moment though and share this first step that I took with my readers. Maybe there is someone out there that is feeling the same things that I felt. If there is, let me tell you that I already feel better. Not from the medicine but from knowing that there is a plan to make me healthy and happy again. This plan is allot better than my plans of isolation, drinking and pot smoking.

I have been lifting weights at the gym and I am about to quit cigarettes. I need to make 2012, my year for change and growth. I know I can be better and do better.

Veterans Day Discounts 2011, Restaurants, Shopping and More

Veteran’s Day is soon approaching and there are many restaurants and companies who want to thank our veterans by providing them with discounts or a free meal. To those companies offering veterans a free meal or discount, the military community gives a collective thanks!

Our goal is to share as many of these free meals and discounts with our military veterans and we will update this page as soon as new information becomes available.
2011 Veteran’s Day Free Meals and Discounts




Two notes before jumping in:

* Proof of Military Service. First, most companies require some form of military ID – including a U.S. Uniform Services ID Card (active/reserve/retired), Current Leave and Earnings Statement (LES), Photograph in uniform, be wearing uniform (if your service permits), Veterans Organization Card (e.g., American Legion and VFW), DD214, discharge paperwork, or other form of identification. Other restaurants and companies may only require a photo of you in uniform, or go by the honor system.
* Participation. Second, always call ahead to verify locations, times, and participation. Many of the listed companies are franchises and may have different policies. We will do our best to keep this page updated as we find new info.

Veterans die every 80 minutes from suicide.

In an alarming report, the VA has determined that veterans are dying in large numbers daily due to suicide. Despite the Veteran's Administration's best efforts to combat suicide in veterans, it seems that they are losing the fight in suicide prevention. Currently there are increased mental health services available to veterans but this suicide rate may raise the question as to whether these services are helpful enough to the veterans that they serve.


Veterans have traditionally had higher rates of suicide than their non military serving counterparts. Clearly, the recent wars have impacted these figures as many veterans are returning from war scarred physically and mentally by the combat experience that they had. It is estimated by many studies that the PTSD rate may be as high as 30% in veterans of the wars in the Middle East.

If you are a veteran and you are going through an emotional crisis. Please try the VA's hotline for help.

1-800-273-8255(TALK)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to be renamed in the military?

This week some army top brass has suggested that PTSD should be renamed to PTSI. Instead of referring to post traumatic stress as a disorder, he has proposed that it be classified as an injury instead. He insists that calling the disability "post traumatic stress injury" will lead to an increase in troops and veterans seeking help for the ailment. As of now about 30% of all veterans that served in a recent combat zone are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. This amounts to about 15% of troops seeking actual medical intervention for PTSD.


Post traumatic stress disorder is a chronic illness and the quicker the patient receives help for the condition, lowers the chances of it becoming a lifelong affliction. There are many barriers preventing an active duty soldier or Marine from seeking help. The most troubling obstacle is that of the social stigma that mental illness holds for the afflicted. A Marine or soldier may hide his or her symptoms to the best of their abilities, despite showing a drop in performance. All this is typically done to protect their careers because many feel that having PTSD will be a career ending experience. Or they fear that they will be seen as crazy and be isolated from their peers.

Will reclassifying PTSD as PTSI lead to an increase in troops seeking help? I think not. I believe that this will not have much an effect on PTSD diagnosis rates. The label and packaging of this will change but the contents of the box remain the same. The only lasting help that can be provided is through educating society on mental health in hope that the stigma changes. People feel socially uncomfortable being labeled depressed, anxious, bipolar and so on. If we can educate society we will create supportive environment for all that suffer from mental illness.

So perhaps what is needed in the military is an increase in education on PTSD and TBI. I think the troops need to be reassured that their careers will not end as a result of revealing post traumatic stress disorder to their medical staff. Only then will we see an increase of people coming forward and discussing their symptom with doctors.

Free Flu Shots for Veterans

The Department of Veteran Affairs is urging all veterans to get their annual flu shot. If you are veteran you can go to your nearest VA medical facility to receive the flu shot. If you are unsure of where your nearest VA facility is, then check this link to locate one.

Veteran's Medical Center Locator

What is a veteran?

I remember going to a recent family function a few years ago in Ohio. I was there with my uncle and he is probably the biggest fan of my military service. He was introducing me to some people we didn't know. He said to one couple, "This is my nephew and he is a vet!" The man asked my uncle, "Oh that's great! What is his specialty? Dogs or Cats?" We nearly rolled on the floor laughing at this. I couldn't tell if the guy was being serious in his question or not. My Uncle recovered and finally said, "He is a veteran of the war in Afghanistan."



So this brings me to the question of this blog post today. What is a veteran? I will give you my answer but your answers to the question might differ.

An American veteran is a man or a woman that served in the Armed Forces. This person could have been a Navy SEAL, an airplane mechanic, a cook, a sailor that cleans a ship all day, and accounting clerk in the army. These are all examples of veterans.

A veteran may have gone to war. The war experience is different for all veterans. A veteran may have kicked down doors in Iraq and may have search buildings room to room for the enemy. A veteran may have killed many enemy troops during a war but may not ever talk about it. Likewise, a veteran may have gone to battle, with rifle in hand and eyes wide open, only to find that there was no fight, that the enemy surrendered, or that the enemy was no where to be found. A veteran may have provided medical care to wounded troops, or may have typed on a computer during a war instead of pulling a trigger.


Despite what the veteran did, no matter what the job, they participated in actions that led towards a mission being accomplished. The cook, the mechanic and the truck driver were all heros of war. Even if these people never fired a weapon at the enemy, they are still heros worthy of respect. Without that cook, mechanic or driver the mission cannot be accomplished as they are all elements of a big team.

Some veterans come home injured from war or training. These are called "disabled veterans." A disabled veteran is a person that was injured and that injury was connected to their military service. They are also called "service connected disabled veterans" by Veteran's Affairs. The injuries of the disabled veteran may be visible and obvious. They might be limbless, confined to wheelchair for life. Some may appear normal and healthy but emotionally they are broken and lifeless.

No matter what of veteran you may meet in your day to day activities, they should be sincerely thanked for sacrificing their body, mind and spirit to keep us Americans safe. Whether or not you agree with the current wars, you should still be thankful of the sacrifice of veterans. Consider this quote in closing:

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

What is it like to have PTSD?

I thought I would write a personal entry today on what post traumatic stress disorder is like for me. We all have our own unique experiences in life so my example may not be like others. Besides, I don’t just have PTSD. I have agoraphobia and depression alongside with complex PTSD. My story might be very different from your own. If it is the same as your own, I would like to hear from you.

When I get up in the morning, my goal is to not leave the apartment. I feel safe inside, I have established my own safe house in what appears to be a combat zone outside of my door. I know where my trusty knife is, I know where people will exit and enter the apartment. I will not be surprised by people coming and going. If the shit goes down, I am in a good position to defend myself because this is my turf.